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ously. You know, Mr. Leat, they call me Father Christmas" You don t, and I appreciate that fact. I
have worn whiskers all my life, and should feel out of place if I cut them off. It is very unkind of
them. Very."
About that time a Madame Gunter was also making flowers, and the office was always brightened
by the resplendent feathers she wore in her hat. They were not of the bijou variety.
Mr. Wm. GALLEY. This gentleman was Mr. Munros father-in-law, and there was little he liked
better than to come to No. 4, when Mr. Munro was away, and lend a hand. He was delightful com-
pany, and it was interesting to listen to him recall the old days, when the gentry drove in their car-
riage and pair, and paid at the toll gates. He had been coachman to a rich gentleman, for about 36
years, and was then pensioned off.
Mr. FRED WILKINSON. Fred
was a good looking boy when he
first came to No. 4. He was acting
at that time. He amused me by de-
scribing to we his first visit. I had
your address somewhere, and ex-
pected to find a shop. I climbed the
stairs, and when I looked into the
room I thought I had made a mis-
take by coming into a wholesale
firm. Then you popped from be-
hind a desk, and after selling me
what I had asked for, you kept me
entertained for two solid hours and
sold me a lot of things I was never
likely to work. I even shook hands
with you when I left. Then the next
afternoon I called again. Why I do
not know. The same evening we
spent together as though we were
brothers. Funny experience. Sel-
bit described him in The Wizard
as Gentlemanly Fred Wilkinson
and the only time he did not act up
to that standard was when he
joined the Army. Then his great
delight was to correct the grammar
of the Sergeant and others in
higher positions. He did it in such
a quiet manner that they hardly ap-
preciated the fact that he was lead-
31
ing them up the garden, and consequently causing quite a lot of merriment to those in the know. We
were a curious couple to be such staunch friends, and many were our escapades. Fred had wonder-
full keen sight, and it did not take us long to make use of it. We worked up a second-sight act for use
in congenial company, and reading the dates of coins was our speciality. We had many splendid
codes.
A SAMPLE. On looking back, it is difficult to pick out one real red letter day and night from an-
other but the following is a fair sample. One summer s afternoon Fred Wilkinson, Garland and my-
self arranged to The Granville, Walham Green, to see Eugene Miska. We started off by having tea
in The Cabin, Picadilly; and were soon requested to refrain from throwing lumps of sugar over the
screen on to the Orchestra . After a little fun on the bus, we arrived at Walham Green. Miska was an
early turn, so we soon adjourned to the Bar. Garland immediately prepared to astonish the Barmaid
with a wonderful trick; and when her back was turned he slipped a decanter of Port under his coat.
His intention was to produce it under cover of a handkerchief, and the effect was great for I had
seen him work it many times. Unfortunately the Barmaid saw by the aid of a mirror the decanter go
under his coat, and she immediately pressed the secret emergency push for the Manager. His ap-
pearance (accompanied by a policeman) was a great surprise, and the Barmaid accused Garland of
stealing. He looked very foolish when he took the decanter from under his coat. Explanations
sounded rather tame, but he was allowed to leave and, of course, we went with him.
As midnight approached our ways separated, Fred myself made for Wandsworth. He could not go
in on account of seeing a light, so we went for a stroll. We turned out one or two street lamps, and re-
moved the jets and sockets to examine their construction, and generally whiled away the time until a
house to Let board attracted our attention. After breaking the binding wire with our street door
key, we suddenly found ourselves crushed to the pavement with the board and pole on top of us.
Neither of us had stopped to consider the weight we were releasing. Our position was undignified,
but no real damage had befallen us. Having released the board, we had to do something with it, so
we struggled with it to a garden wall, and with a great effort managed to push it over. Crash. We had
no idea there was a greenhouse on the other side. When we stopped running, Fred decided to go
home; but I walked leisurely back to Charing Cross. I did not want to disturb any folks at home by
returning with the milk. I dozed in the office arm chair, and directly the mail arrived, I started busi-
ness as though nothing whatever had happened. Miska called, and explained that Garland had had a
slight altercation with a oloured man whilst going home on the District Railway.
I was pleased that the day was Saturday, for we could leave early, but Garland turned up, and that
started the ball rolling all over again. As we were crossing to the Saint, Garland took exception to a
couple of foreigners who seemed to be nursing a stranger to London. He spoke to them, and be-
fore I knew his intention, be plunked one squarely between the eyes. They hurried away, and we
went inside for a little light refreshment. Soon after the door was pushed ajar, and a Porter warned
us that they were returning with a Policeman. Now Garland was a big man, and very tall compared
with myself; yet he did one of the funniest things I have ever seen: He slipped off his stool, and hid
under one of the tables. In they trooped, and I was immediately pointed out as one of them . Mr
Policeman got busy: Will you charge this man with assault? The foreigner was excited, and his
broken English spluttered:- Yes. No. It was the big man who struck me. Now I tried not to. look,
but whilst all attention was directed to myself, there was Garland crawling on his hands and knees
towards the door. Maurice Garland, Society entertainer, crawling on a public house floor in the en-
32
deavour to defeat the ends of Justice. But the cover was not suficient. He was, seen; and everyone
seemed to cry at once There he is. Well, he was the first out of the door and they told me it was a
fine race whilst it lasted. Up Duke St. he went, and turned into Casey Court ; then quickly to the
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