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breathing!" she ordered me over the UHF. I closed my eyes and tried to relax and breathe normally. "Focus!" she yelled. "Okay," I puffed. "I . . . am . . . okay." Just talking was tough. For a while I thought I was seeing red, but that faded within a few moments. Earth rolled by underneath us about every ten seconds or so. That was still considerable rotation, or so I thought. "Anson. My thrusters are out. You have to stop the probe's rotation or at least slow it some more." I was too confused and disoriented to ask questions right away. I followed orders and fired my thrusters a few times. That stopped the probe's spin the rest of the way. We were now facing Earth constantly. "What happened?" I asked her. "Don't know. How much air do you have?" I checked my Display and Controls Module (DCM). I ran through a few diagnostics on my suit. Page 61 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html Tabitha was doing the same. "I have three hours fifty-seven minutes. How about you?" "Same," she said. "What do we do? We're in space with no way to get home!" "I ain't sure. First I think we should try communicating with someone. Although they'll be out of range." She was right. We both tried and failed to hail anybody. The UHF circuits on the suits only reach about ten kilometers or so. The Shuttle that relayed our signal to ground stations was gone. Earth was about three hundred kilometers below us and the ISS was about twelve thousand kilometers on the other side of the Earth. "We're so screwed. Oh man, we are so screwed !" "Anson, don't ever say that again! you hear me?" she scolded. "Think! There's a way out of this. We just have to find it." "You're right. I hope." I was still trying to shake off the massive headache and the feeling of having been on that nasty roller coaster from a few minutes before. "I don't hope. I know. That is the only way to see it in your mind. You know we will make it. Got it!" That last was more of an order than a question so I didn't answer. I could imagine Bob's face while he was yelling at 'Becca, "Never give up!" That look of determination on his face was the same that I was seeing on Tabitha now. I realized that by God they were right! I wasn't giving up no matter how bad things got. Ever! I looked at Tabitha and realized that I knew we were going to make it somehow. I had a whole new fire burning in me. There was a way home. I just had to find it. Now you might think, what about those poor folks on the Shuttle that just got destroyed? Where's the compassion for them? Weren't they your friends? I remember a decade or so ago how I felt horrible and cried while watching all those folks die when the World Trade Center towers were destroyed and I didn't even know any of them. Well that was different I wasn't about to die myself then. At this point my main concern was survival not compassion, anger, remorse, or any other emotion. Tabitha and I had all the time in the world to cry later if we survived. My guess is that this is how soldiers must feel when they see their buddy beside them get blown away. They must know that they have to complete their mission or die, too. Then, later when they are safe, they cry. Tabitha is a soldier I was certain that she was operating in pure survival mode. So, that was the only way that I could think that I would think until this was over and we were safe at home drinking a beer. Then I would cry for hours or days. I touched the ring I'd tucked in my EMU in anticipation of popping the question during the EVA. "Tabitha, will you marry me?" I asked her. "What!" "Marry me! I said. "Marry me, Neil Anson Clemons." "You are asking me now ? We don't have time for this." She was frantic and looking furious. "Tabitha," I began calmly and slowly. "I know that we're going to make it. And I want you to spend the rest of your life with me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If we don't make it, and we will, I would rather make it with my fiancée than my commander. Marry me!" I pleaded. Tabitha took a long pause and a deep breath, if you can do that in an EMU. Then she nodded. "Are you sure you aren't just asking me this because you're hysterical?" "No! I was going to ask you earlier. I just never got the time. I have a ring right here in my pocket! I Page 62 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html haven't let it out of my sight since we launched." "Are you serious?" she asked. "Hell, yes, I'm serious!" I was hurt a little. "I will," she said quietly. "Yes! I wish I could kiss you." I laughed. I'm not sure if I was hysterical, but I probably appeared to be. After a few moments of silence, we set to work thinking about a plan to get us home. Communicating with those bright boys dirtside at NASA was our first priority. We spent the next thirty minutes reconfiguring the datalink system for the probe to accept the UHF signals from the EMUs and then relay them over the digital data dump back to the HOSC in Huntsville. Had Al Rayburn and I not redesigned the spacecraft bus as a graphical interface this wouldn't have been possible. Any off-the-shelf spacecraft bus would've required actual rewiring that couldn't be done in an EMU. The dexterity in the gloves just wouldn't allow that. However, Al and I had the idea of making the entire spacecraft modular. Each wire connects to the generic connection point on the spacecraft bus. Then that connection can be allocated by the central computer system and some solid-state and mechanical relays. All the wires are the same but each has a different job as assigned by the computer. Al and I had taken the commercial bus we bought and spent a good deal of effort reverse engineering and reengineering it. Tabitha and I finally reconfigured the data comm system to accept our UHF signal as data in. Then we retransmitted that signal through the Traveling Wave Tube Amplifier or "TWeeTA" system. The TWeeTA was designed to handle more data than had ever been attempted with a spacecraft. The warp field data would be vast when operational. Standard communications systems just wouldn't have been able to handle the data rates needed. So, Al, Jim, 'Becca, and I spent a good bit of time and money designing a newer more updated system. This communications system works a lot more like the Internet than a radio. That amount of data required a lot of power amplification. A TWeeTA is the only way to go about that. Tabitha and I used this to our advantage. Since the communications dish hadn't been deployed yet, we planned to use the omnidirectional antenna. We pumped plenty of power through the dipole so that the relay satellites could receive it with no problem. But there was a problem: the datalink was just that, a datalink. Nobody would be expecting a voice signal over it. Jim would have to realize that the data
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